September Wrap Up

Have you ever had those moments in your life where you just stop having interest in things you normally LOVE to do…so you start re evaluating your life and you just don’t like where you are so you take time to really get your shit together? because this is exactly where i am at right now. I have these moments when I am super comfortable in life and I don’t see room for growth…I’m constantly looking for the next adventure. I say this because I haven’t read much this month.. and what I did read was during the first week of September… I haven’t read anything since..and I really don’t think I’m going to read much for the next month.. since I’m trying to get my shit together and shit like that. ;) I’m only sharing because you probably wont see me post much… I’m thinking about starting a personal blog where I can just talk about whatever is on my mind and fun things too… let  me know if you’d be interested in reading something like that? well.. I think that’s enough ranting for now.. heres what I read this month.

I read 5 books this month.
I have read 36 books this year
I pledged 40 and I am currently 7 books ahead of schedule.

Stand Off (Winger #2) by Andrew Smith

This is the sequel to one of my all time favorite books ever… and this book did not let me down. It was everything I ever wanted and more from Ryan Dean West and Andrew Smith…and to know that there will be a sort of spin off just makes me way too fucking excited!!!

Maybe Someday (Maybe #1) by Colleen Hoover

This is the second Colleen Hoover books I’ve read… and it didn’t totally win me over. I just feel like she made a really great story way too fucking dramatic and what happens in this book is just not necessary. Which is why this book frustrates me so much.. like.. I enjoyed it…enough so that I finished the book but this book had so much potential.

Maybe Not (Maybe #1.5) by Colleen Hoover

Ok so… this is the novella to Maybe Someday… ITS THE FUCKING NOVELLA.. & ITS FUCKING BEAUTIFUL! This story is so simple but emotionally complicated & its amazing! It was a solid story.. there was no unnecessary drama, it was just… beautiful. My only issue was that I wanted more because I’m a nosy mofo who wants to know all the things.

Pee.s This was everything I was looking for in Forever With You by JLynn. SMH That book makes me sad. #SideNote

Confess by Colleen Hoover

So after reading Maybe Not I decided to give Colleen Hoover one more chance.. and well… Ugh.. shes just so frustrating.. ok Confess is a beautiful story… I love the art aspect of it all… I love the romance… I love the history between the characters.. but again.. .TOO MUCH UNNECESSARY DRAMA! At this point I’m just going to ignore the stupid drama and pretend it doesn’t exist. I love that this n book was based in Texas and had so much Art and the whole Confession thing is beautiful.

Benched by Sara Santana

So the last book I read my Parabatai wrote and… UGH SO GOOD! I wish I could share all the beautiful reasons why… but I don’t think I can hahahah anyway.. lets cross our fingers and send good vibes to her so that she can get that shit published!!!!


Blog Tour & Giveaway: Love Letters from the Dead

“It begins as an assignment for English class: Write a letter to a dead person.

Laurel chooses Kurt Cobain because her sister, May, loved him. And he died young, just like May. Soon, Laurel has a notebook full of letters to the dead—to people like Janis Joplin, Heath Ledger, Amelia Earhart, and Amy Winehouse—though she never gives a single one of them to her teacher. She writes about starting high school, navigating the choppy waters of new friendships, learning to live with her splintering family, falling in love for the first time, and, most important, trying to grieve for May. But how do you mourn for someone you haven’t forgiven?

It’s not until Laurel has written the truth about what happened to herself that she can finally accept what happened to May. And only when Laurel has begun to see her sister as the person she was—lovely and amazing and deeply flawed—can she truly start to discover her own path.

In a voice that’s as lyrical and as true as a favorite song, Ava Dellaira writes about one girl’s journey through life’s challenges with a haunting and often heartbreaking beauty.”


On September 29, 2015, FSG Books for Young Readers will publish the paperback edition of Ava Dellaira’s luminous 2014 debut, LOVE LETTERS TO THE DEAD. This generation’s The Perks of Being A Wallflower, it’s a story about first love, first loss, best friends, and discovering yourself. (Read my Review Here) So to celebrate this paperback release a few bloggers and I wrote our own love letter to a famous someone and in turn Ava wrote her response letter.

Dear Heath Ledger,
I’ve been sitting at my computer for the past few hours trying to figure out what I wanted to say to you… I watched some of your interviews, I read your Wikipedia page, I googled your quotes, I read articles about you from all kinds of people…. people who knew you closely, people you worked with, people who met you only a hand full of times, Fans… Mostly fans… and they all had nothing but good things to say about you. They said you were kind, you were funny…They said you were passionate about your job and you would do these crazy things to get into character… Like, lock yourself in a hotel room for a week and go over lines, trying out different laughs and voices for The Joker… They said you carried a diary of news clippings about really horrible stories that would help you get into character… I was reading all of these things and I was smiling. I LOVE your passion.

When you spoke about your daughter….my heart melted. When you said that you have a new sense of life and death after her birth. Because you could die happy…. but you also don’t want to leave because you wanted to be there for her. Life isn’t about money or fame. its about love… You loved your daughter…You loved your job… the art of it all… you cared about the art…It brought you happiness…and it touched peoples hearts… you made people feel things. People felt a connection with you through your art. That is powerful.

You died at 28 years old…for me…  that is four years from now. That seems crazy…so short of a life… but through your art you were able to live more than one life… becoming each of your characters…you were able to do what you love.. and you experienced unconditional love… and not many people get to experience that…some people spend their whole life chasing after it. People said what a shame that you died so young…a talent gone too soon… but I think your life and death was quite beautiful… it was like your final piece of art. You had a full life… & I only hope to have a fraction of what you had in my lifetime.

Dear Sylvia,
Thank you so much for your wonderful letter to Heath Ledger. I loved reading about all that you learned about him as you sat down to write it! And I love that you point out how passionate he was about his art, and about the people whom he loved. I am one of the many who, like you say, felt a connection to him through his art.

The first time I saw Heath Ledger was in Ten Things I Hate About You. I was 16, and I had a giant crush on him back then. I wished I were Kat in the movie, so he’d be singing Can’t Take My Eyes Off Of You to me.

When I was a college student, he blew me away and broke my heart as Ennis in Brokeback Mountain. For years, when someone would ask me about my favorite movies, that was one at the top of my list.

And, after he’d died, when I went to see The Dark Knight in the theater with my boyfriend, he shook us both with his performance as the Joker, as he did so many others. It was an astounding movie, as was Heath’s rendition of the character.

As you point out, he was someone who so readily and generously gave himself to all he did. His passion showed in his work, and we all got to have a glimpse of it; some of us were changed by it.

For you, 28 is only four years away. For me, 28 was four years ago. My first book had not yet been published. I’d only just met the man I want to spend my life with. I was still struggling to grow up, to figure out who I wanted to become. And at the same age, Heath had already rocked the world with his talent, had already become a deeply loving father; as you say, it’s incredible what he was able to do in his life. I will admit, I’m amongst those who believes his death is a tragedy. But, I’m also, like you, amongst those who continues to be inspired by everything he shared with us.

Yours, Ava

 About Ava Dellaira

Ava Dellaira is a graduate of the Iowa Writers’ Workshop, where she was a Truman Capote Fellow. She grew up in Albuquerque, New Mexico, and received her undergraduate degree from the University of Chicago. She believes this book began when she bought her second album ever—Nirvana’s In Utero—which she listened to on repeat while filling the pages of her journal. She currently lives in Santa Monica, California, where she works in the film industry and is writing her second novel.


To win a Paperback copy of Love Letters to the Dead
Enter through Rafflecopter HERE

Don’t forget to visit the other stops on the tour!


September 21st: Forever Young Adult
September 22nd: Rebel Mommy Book Blog
September 23rd: Fangirl Feels
September 24th: The Reading Nook Reviews
September 25th: Alexa Loves Books
September 28th: YA Bibliophile
September 29th: Into the Hall of Books


Shit Sylvia Says: Body Shaming

It has been  few days since the “Fat Shaming” video uploaded on YouTube. (There’s a Buzzfeed article somewhere out there if you have no Idea what I’m referring to.) I watched the first couple minutes of it and I had to stop… at first I was… so so sad… then I got angry… and then I went back to just being really sad. I woke up this morning and checked all the social media as one does… and there were so many people still talking about this video. Then I checked my messages…this person messaged me and asked why I had deleted her from FB and she said she was sorry if she somehow offended me. She had posted the video on her Facebook and said it was “Fucking Hilarious”. I may have acted on impulse but once I saw that comment I no longer wanted her in my life. So I replied to her…

“I just can’t be friends with someone who thinks that body shaming is funny. Especially when It is something most people have a really hard time with.”

She went on to tell me that she has dealt with body shaming as well and that she does not think it is funny & never said such a thing so I shouldn’t accuse her of anything.

I sent her the screen shot of her post and said “This is not hilarious”

& she said “Actually it is. because its TRUE. shes referring to OBESE people NOT FAT people. and not people with WEIGHT ISSUES  due to illness. (And there are different types) I am NOT sorry that I am able to find humor in her rant.”

She went on and on about how this girl is right and sent me screenshots of a nutritionist who agreed with the video and basically tried to prove her point.

This is when I decided that I was not going to argue with her. She already has her mind made up.  Now… I am FAT. I am OBESE and this is not a secret to me. I have been overweight since I was very young. I grew up poor..and my parents did the best they could. I do not blame my parents for my eating habits, they raised me the only way they knew how. Food is huge in my family.. it is how we bond. When someone offers you food.. you take it out of respect. I have struggled with my weight my whole life and I have had very VERY low self esteem. To the point where I really did not want to live. I felt gross and useless and ugly and unloved… I questioned my worth. Food comforts me. And when all you have in your house are fatty foods… you become fat. OBESITY IS A PROBLEM! Yes it is not healthy for us to be so big. Yes this needs to change! Yes we should make better choices! YES YES YES! I AGREE!!!  How about we show some love! Because yelling at people and making “Jokes” about them & making them feel like shit isn’t going to help!

I met a Rock…. We're homies now. 🌊🗿 🌞🌎❤️

A photo posted by 又Fandom Feelings (@fangirlfeeels) on

This one time I was at the beach with my friends and my 15 year old niece. and I was wearing a Fatkini. I looked really cute in it….And we got up to go to the water and my niece said something under her breath “ugh shut up…stop laughing… so rude” Something along those lines.. and I heard her so I asked what was the matter… and she said “Nothing those girls are just really annoying and they keep saying things.” I was curious so I looked over and they were all laughing… looking me. So I said..” Were they laughing at me?” & my niece nodded.. she looked so hurt that these people were making fun of me… I looked at her and said “Joanna…Don’t worry about them… I don’t care what they say..they’re never going to see me again & I feel really good in my bathing suit and its a beautiful day.. lets go in the water.”

If there's one thing I feel the most passionate about.., it's self love. It's so important to feel beautiful in your own skin no matter what you look like. Everyone is beautiful. All of our flaws are what make us different & unique & beautiful. This is the first bikini i have ever owned in all my 24 years of life. & I've never felt more confident in my body. I was by the water taking photos of my niece & nephew when some random lady walked by me & said "you totally rock that cute bikini" she had a huge smile on her face & she was all alone. It was a genuine compliment & I thanked her. Only then did I realize the power we have as women to keep each other feeling beautiful & strong instead of tearing each other down. It'll take time but we can make a difference… Compliments go a long way. Be kind & love each other. #effyourbeautystandards #fatkini

A photo posted by 又Fandom Feelings (@fangirlfeeels) on

The past few years I have done some major soul searching. I learned to love myself. ALL OF ME. And I have learned to accept all of my flaws.. they are what make me ME! I am beautiful! I am a huge advocate for self love and Body Positivity. Its a long journey….but I choose to show love to myself and others. Yes… Obesity is a problem… but we don’t know each others stories. We do not know why someone is fat. Or how they got to that point in their life. We are human… and we all have our struggles… were just trying to live life and get the most out of it…. its a fucked up world.. why are we going to waste our time putting each other down when we can just enjoy life and share love. Especially WOMEN! We have to stick together! Stop tearing each other down! LOVE! Show LOVE! Kindness goes a long way!

Through self love.. and from the love of my family and friends.. I learned that I deserve the best life… we all deserve the best life we can give ourselves.. and for me… I am was ready to show love to my body…I have been cruel to it… but last month I decided I was going to show myself some major love and get healthy. I joined a gym…. I went vegan.. although sometimes I fuck up… I get back up and start again.. its not easy.. it really is not easy.. but when I love myself.. and I know I deserve so much more… and my loved ones are also telling me the same… That’s what keeps me going. Love is what keeps me going.. not hate.


Pee.s Enjoy my Fatkini!

August Wrap Up

Originally I pledged to read 24 books this year but since I passed that I upped it to 40…
& since im roughly 10 books away from that I think were gunna have to up it again.
I have read 31 books this year so far
& I am 5 book ahead of schedule.

Better When He’s Bold (Welcome to the Point #2)  by Jay Crownover

Holy shit this book! I love Race!!! I didn’t like him much in the first book but this one just… UGh!!! I want him! This cover model does not do him justice… just pretend you’ve never seen this cover ever..

If only this gif said.. Bold ahhahah

Missing Dixie (Neon Dreams #3) by Caisey Quinn

This whole damn series is fucking beautiful & this ending DOE!!!
Read My Review Here

Ugly Love by Colleen Hoover

I enjoyed it for what it was. It was a bit predictable.

Boomerang (Boomerang #1) by Noelle August

I don’t hate it.. but I definitely did not love it.

Forever with You (Wait for You #5) by Jennifer L. Armentrout

I have a lot of thoughts on this book.. one that will be put into a review soon.

Stand-Off (Winger #2) by Andrew Smith

Holy shit this book!!! I finished it last night & Wow… Andrew Smith never fails to blow my mind

I have no Idea what I am going to read next…Leave your recommendations in the comments… especially NA recommendations!


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    It's that time of year again. #itsoctober3rd #meangirls Guys MY PARABATAI IS GETTING HER BOOK PUBLISHED!!!!! SHE HAS WORKED SO HARD!!! And is SOOOO DESERVING OF THIS!!! I hope all of y'all go out & read her book! It's seriously so good! I read it earlier this year! Go follow & support @whatanerdgirlsays @oftomes & follow her journey! 
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HUGE NEWS!!! I am so insanely pleased to announce that after so much hard work, patience and determination, my baby, #TheAwakened has found its home! That's right, guys! I'm finally being published and by the awesome @oftomes publishing! Make sure to follow them to keep up with cover reveal and ALL the exciting news! Eek! I can't handle the excitement! Make sure to click the link in my bio to add my book on #GoodReads!! #Repost @oftomes with @repostapp.
ANNOUNCEMENT!! The next book being published by Oftomes publishing is The Awakened by Sara Elizabeth Santana 
I have linked the goodreads page in the bio! Go and check it out, blurb is there and mark it to read! GO GO GO

#oftomes #theawakened #books #bookish #bookstagram #booknerdigans #YA #youngadult #sciencefiction #reading #amreading #announcement #excited 
OH AND MAKE SURE TO SHARE IT PLEASE! I want loads and loads of people to add it on GoodReads! Let's do this! This album doe 😘👌🏾 @thomasrhettakins #goals 😂👌🏾 @barefootjake #jakeowen concert last night with my BffBill @tealeavestrelawney When your best friend lifts you up. 😭❤️ so much love. @tealeavestrelawney Seeing this guy with my BffBill @tealeavestrelawney  Saturday!!!! 😭❤️ We're celebrating the paperback release of #loveletterstothedead with a GIVEAWAY!!!!!!! Check out the blog tour where I share a letter I wrote to #heathledger Link in description! #books #book #bookworm #fangirl #giveaway #avadellaira This album is brilliant @troyesivan
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